I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
where am i from again
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
