dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
