LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Randomize
