I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
