i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Randomize
