Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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