Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
