if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Randomize
