That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
try to milk me bitch
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