when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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