Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
