I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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