Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
