2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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