Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
