I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
