What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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