i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
