So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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