Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
