Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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