I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
