Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
My bed smells like the plague
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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