It's like God shit irony all over that family
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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