Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
