I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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