why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
