there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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