People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
