I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
