You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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