"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
