So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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