OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
