Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
