You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
