I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
