I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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