Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
