i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
