Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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