i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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