there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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