He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
