Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
