hotel room ftw
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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