Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
