bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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