My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
