Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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