who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
